Every week a new story

Okay. I'm not a writer but I need to start telling my stories. So here goes. This is just one of the many under the title, "Ashley's lot in life involves mentally insane people for a reason that God has yet to reveal to her."

Chapter one: Afro Lady who thinks she is my mother

I've had three instances with this messenger. She, of course, is a native of Savannah, GA. She came into my life the first time in the spring of 2001. I had just graduated from the Savannah College of Art and Design and on this day had just had an unfortunate phone call with a person in my life which will go unnamed. I was crying and heaving while parked in front of my apartment when my roommate, Mindy, pulled up and offered to take me to lunch in an attempt to calm me down. Let me mention, also, that these were the days of blissful Marlboro Ultra Light 100's. I'm sure I smoked away at least 3 days of my future on the way to the restaurant but who gives a damn?! Oh, how I wish I could smoke. Anyway, we went to Juarez Mexican restaurant and Mindy left to go to the ATM machine. So here's the scene. It's around 3:00 in the day so there are only about five people in the joint. I'm sitting at our table, smoking, and waiting for Mindy to get back when I realize that someone at the table to my right is addressing me in quite an angry tone and probably has been for the last couple of minutes. So I look over and there is a woman about three feet away staring directly at me and shouting. Now, to give you a better visual, imagine the Queen of Hearts from the cartoon version of Alice in Wonderland but with an AMAZING afro. I'm talking at least a foot and a half in every direction. It just goes to show you how distraught I must have been not to have noticed her until she was speaking directly to my face. But what she was saying to me was even more AMAZING. It went like this......"You are an embarrassment to society and me!" and "You will never be anything in this life!" Basically this went on until Mindy finally got back. She quieted down for a while and when the waiter, who was a Mexican fellow I might add, came by with our check he said that apparently she thought he and I were both her children. That's an interesting family tree.

So this was the first of three random encounters that I had with this woman over a period of a couple of years, all of them equal in absurdity. Let me also add that during my time living in Savannah people probably wouldn't label me as a party girl. Most weekends you could find me at home working on my art by myself. So on those special occasions when I would be out and about, you better bet your ass my internal GPS alerted all messengers to my downtown location.